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Using anger the right way

So, continuing with my dropback meltdown, I asked John about it: Do you think I don’t drop back because of flexibility or because of fear? He thought about it for a while, then replied with that wizardly shinning in his eyes that “it is probably both“. I told him I am angry, and then he said something very clever, he suggested I use the anger to psyche myself into it, he offered that it will not just happen by relaxing and taking it easy.

He is, of course, right. He is one of the best back benders in the world, you probably saw that picture that floats around the web, so I trust him completely.

What I could not trust was when he then said: OK drop back and I will watch you…. Eeerrrr now? Will you hold me? You promise? Yes, I went as low as “you promise”.  That is the extent of my terror.

I heard stories of people who are just told to do it, to drop back, now, on the spot, like that.  Even heard accounts of it happening in Mysore, and Bindy told me something like it also happened to her with a certified teacher.

For me is kind of like death, I rather it happen peacefully, on my own terms. Maybe that is the problem.

Anyway, enough whining. Helpful suggestions that I did not want to hear included getting closer to the wall, dropping all the way back, and pushing a little more since apparently I can go a lot further than I think I can.

Also, using the force and opening the chest on the first U.D. as much as possible.

For anyone out there thinking yoga is easy and peaceful, don’t get me starterd.

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10 Responses to Using anger the right way

  1. Boodiba August 20, 2010 at 11:32 am #

    Ha!!! I was really happy when he stood by &amp; coached / watched the &quot;toc&quot; Thursday. Drop backs are a similar, goal post type of hurdle. You&#39;ve gotta REALLY want it. <br /><br />I&#39;m reminded of something I read in my horseback riding days. I was doing show jumping. There&#39;s a type of jump I was having a problem with – they&#39;re called in &amp; out. They are jumps placed

  2. Claudia August 20, 2010 at 12:13 pm #

    Hmmm.. I love that story, you can feel the fear even as you read it… this IS the same, yes I must throw my heart over the fence and the horse will follow, thank you!

  3. Arturo August 20, 2010 at 12:53 pm #

    Dear Claudia<br />I understand how getting a little angry or expecting more would make you do something challenging. I&#39;ve heard the same is useful for people needing to master Karavandasana. It would not be that you force yourself into it, but that you get the courage (read &quot;coraje&quot;) to get it done. <br /><br />I think one of my teachers in the Bay Area on various occasions tried

  4. Claudia August 20, 2010 at 1:14 pm #

    Arturo, that is very interesting about the cinta, wish the ashtanga studio had those, there were a few in Thailand, they can be useful!

  5. Anonymous August 20, 2010 at 3:48 pm #

    Boodiba, I like your horse-riding analogy. I also like what you said about throwing the heart over the fence and the horse will follow; it reminds me of the saying, &quot;putting the cart before the horse&quot;, except that, in this case, putting something before the horse is actually a good thing 🙂 <br /><br />Claudia, I thought I should say a couple more things about the whole

  6. Boodiba August 20, 2010 at 4:01 pm #

    In my own case I have to learn to consistently throw my heart behind my feet – and STRAIGHT behind them – when jumping up &amp; backward, through my chest, for the 2nd half of the tic tocs. <br /><br />Astanga is great in that it&#39;s a constant lesson in facing fear!

  7. Claudia August 20, 2010 at 4:22 pm #

    Nobel, thanks for the clarification, I think I know just the video you talk about. That is actually what I normally do too, now I added the part where I commit to opening the chest and bringing in the force…. Thanks for watching the video and the reassurance<br /><br />B, I am totally tweeting your last sentence there, and giving you credit of course.

  8. Anonymous August 20, 2010 at 7:36 pm #

    why be angry? <br />can you stand up? i learned to stand up before i dropped back. i figured if i had the strength to stand up, i could drop back. at some point you just have to bite the bullet and do it.<br />but here is the thing. there will always be something. something that is a struggle. is the lesson in gaining the posture or in the struggle?<br />another thing, i used to bind the backs of

  9. Claudia August 20, 2010 at 8:35 pm #

    Hi Anonymous, I dont yet come up from U.D. and I agree with you, I am not all that angry, but I do admit I felt such emotion the other day and gave myself permission to explore it, the result has been all these posts and I have learned quite a bit out of it. But yes, weather I drop back or not, this too shall pass… so no point in putting so much emotional energy

  10. Boodiba August 20, 2010 at 9:05 pm #

    I totally understand yogic angst! 🙂