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Dealing with haters – Tim Ferris

A couple of months ago I read this article to which I keep coming back because the topic: “Haters” is very relevant.  I have no idea why the font is coming all in upper case so forgive my web ignorance.  Here is the source ARTICLE where over 4500 people “liked it”.

1. It doesn’t matter how many people don’t get it. What matters is how many people do.

“It’s critical in social media, as in life, to have a clear objective and not to lose sight of that,” Ferriss says. He argues that if your objective is to do the greatest good for the greatest number of people or to change the world in some small way (be it through a product or service), you only need to pick your first 1,000 fans — and carefully. “As long as you’re accomplishing your objectives, that 1,000 will lead to a cascading effect,” Ferriss explains. “The 10 million that don’t get it don’t matter.”

2. 10% of people will find a way to take anything personally. Expect it.

“People are least productive in reactive mode,” Ferriss states, before explaining that if you are expecting resistance and attackers, you can choose your response in advance, as opposed to reacting inappropriately. This, Ferriss says, will only multiply the problem. “Online I see people committing ‘social media suicide’ all the time by one of two ways. Firstly by responding to all criticism, meaning you’re never going to find time to complete important milestones of your own, and by responding to things that don’t warrant a response.” This, says Ferriss, lends more credibility by driving traffic.

3. “Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity.” (Colin Powell)

“If you treat everyone the same and respond to everyone by apologizing or agreeing, you’re not going to be recognizing the best performers, and you’re not going to be improving the worst performers,” Ferriss says. “That guarantees you’ll get more behavior you don’t want and less you do.” That doesn’t mean never respond, Ferriss goes on to say, but be “tactical and strategic” when you do.

4. “If you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative.” (Scott Boras)

“This principle goes hand-in-hand with number two,” Ferriss says. “I actually keep this quote in my wallet because it is a reminder that the best people in almost any field are almost always the people who get the most criticism.” The bigger your impact, explains Ferriss (whose book is a New York Times, WSJ and BusinessWeek bestseller), and the larger the ambition and scale of your project, the more negativity you’ll encounter. Ferriss jokes he has haters “in about 35 languages.”

5. “If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.” (Epictetus)

“Another way to phrase this is through a more recent quote from Elbert Hubbard,” Ferriss says. “‘To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Ferriss, who holds a Guinness World Record for the most consecutive tango spins, says he has learned to enjoy criticism over the years. Ferriss, using Roman philosophy to expand on his point, says: “Cato, who Seneca believed to be the perfect stoic, practiced this by wearing darker robes than was customary and by wearing no tunic. He expected to be ridiculed and he was, he did this to train himself to only be ashamed of those things that are truly worth being ashamed of. To do anything remotely interesting you need to train yourself to be effective at dealing with, responding to, even enjoying criticism… In fact, I would take the quote a step further and encourage people to actively pursue being thought foolish and stupid.”

6. “Living well is the best revenge.” (George Herbert)

“The best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you,” Ferriss advises. “That, and [show] how much fun you’re having!” Ferriss goes on to say that the best revenge is letting haters continue to live with their own resentment and anger, which most of the time has nothing to do with you in particular. “If a vessel contains acid and you pour some on an object, it’s still the vessel that sustains the most damage,” Ferriss says. “Don’t get angry, don’t get even — focus on living well and that will eat at them more than anything you can do.”

7. Keep calm and carry on.

The slogan “Keep Calm and Carry On” was originally produced by the British government during the Second World War as a propaganda message to comfort people in the face of Nazi invasion. Ferriss takes the message and applies it to today’s world. “Focus on impact, not approval. If you believe you can change the world, which I hope you do, do what you believe is right and expect resistance and expect attackers,” Ferriss concludes. “Keep calm and carry on!”

17 Responses to Dealing with haters – Tim Ferris

  1. Mike Repede February 23, 2011 at 1:11 pm #

    Wow, spot on! Namaste, and thank you for sharing. <br /><br />It&#39;s unfortunate that haters are more driven to voice their gripes than lovers are to share their enthusiasm.<br /><br />Claudia, keep it up. You&#39;re making a positive impact on us &quot;fans.&quot; 🙂 Seriously, please don&#39;t stop!

  2. sereneflavor.com February 23, 2011 at 3:12 pm #

    Now that&#39;s what I call a public service! That was very soothing Claudia. I suspect I&#39;m not the only one in need of &quot;keep calm and carry on&quot;. 🙂

  3. Yyogini February 23, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

    Thanks for this Claudia! It&#39;s so easy to get bogged down by nonconstructive criticisms and spend too much energy trying to get the few haters to like me better, which really is a waste of energy. I&#39;ll be referring back to this post whenever I need a positive reminder!

  4. Claudia February 23, 2011 at 5:31 pm #

    @Mike Thank you, I agree on how you put it that angry voicers are more driven to share, it is a strange phenomenon…. I appreciate your encouraging too :-)<br /><br />@Sereneflavor, you suspect right hee hee, I thought this was right on… big fan of Tim<br /><br />@YYogini, yes I hear you loud and clear, it is so easy sometimes to just focus on the negative without regards to the positive in

  5. Boodiba February 23, 2011 at 5:40 pm #

    I&#39;m lucky in that regard because the people who hate me tend to talk amongst themselves.

  6. Grimmly February 24, 2011 at 2:03 am #

    Hate to think that you might have been getting a hard time, glad you found some comfort in this, the loving kindness thing works for me. Now about that Boodiba…

  7. Grimmly February 24, 2011 at 2:07 am #

    Actually, come to think if it I don&#39;t really get haters just criticism occasionally which is fair enough, YouTube can be nasty sometimes.

  8. Boodiba February 24, 2011 at 6:57 am #

    Lol Grim!!!

  9. Claudia February 24, 2011 at 7:02 am #

    B, not sure I get what you mean… but will try and reflect ;-)<br /><br />Grimmly yes you tube can get out of control sometimes, I have seen it in action, gratefully not in many of my videos… but the level of world anger in general message boards is really amazing, especially as the authors or writers get to be more popular (as is the case for this author, Tim Ferris. I am recovering from a

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