And then… I die.
UPDATE: After you read this post, it might be good for you to know that I confused what was happening to me, and was subsequently diagnosed with Lyme disease… you can read about it here
OK, I am still here I did not die but my “will to live” disappeared. I did not even know your will to live could disappear, I only realized it was happening when John told me that if what I felt was that the will to live was gone then I was sure to be in the presence of fear.
pic from here
He is right, of course, I do have some issues of fear, but I was left scratching my head on the way home because I also know that it is true that I feel a lot more confident in the backbend. Fear is a part of it but it is not the same as, say, a year ago.
Back at the desk I wrote a ranting post about fear. Then I could not hit publish. Something was off again. It could not be all about fear, not again, not at this level, I have traveled through the fear issues again and again, there had to be something else.
I realized later that I have been getting very dizzy, tired, and that my legs get buttery a lot. I also get these jittery feelings in my legs. It only happens once in a while, where they want to move or jump, or just won’t stay quiet.
A simple google search led me to believe perhaps it is a nutrition issue. The jitter in the legs has been given a name “restless legs syndrome” and I need more iron, I could even be anemic. No wonder it has been so hard to go through the whole practice and on some days I have been so tired that meditation or pranayama was impossible. I was blaming it on the summer, but maybe it is not the sun after all.
Symptoms of lack of iron include (among others)
- Restless legs syndrome
- Shortness of breath
- and all other symptoms associated with anemia.
|hm, tempted aready|
Leafy greens, chick peas, egg yolks, even red meat… here I may have to come!
Do you know of any good iron supplements? Do you take any?
As I mentioned in the update, IT IS ALWAYS advisable to consult a doctor when symptomps persist, read why here.