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Unconcious in New York City

Back from Pure Yoga I make it just in time for the free hotel breakfast on the second floor, one that I’ve had before and know full well is not good (eggs old and overcooked, potatoes too big, no toasts), but hey! It is free. 

The waiter, a man I’ve seen before many times, takes a harsh look at me (in my post-yoga state) and approaches me sort of running but not too fast, as not to show it.  He asks suspiciously for my room number which I provide with a blissful, after savasana-messy hair, smile.  He still seems unconvinced and comes charging back: “Miss, shorts are not allowed here, you do what you want but they are not allowed”.

How did he even know I had shorts on? I had a full coat on top that covered all the way to my legs:  “I come from the gym” I simplify for him.  Then proceed to have breakfast anyway. 

I see him talking to the manager.  I look at  both of them in disbelief.  Did the waiter just call the manager up? Is he telling him about me? Are they going to escort me out of the sacred breakfast room where people who take care of their bodies mind and souls are not allowed? What will they charge me with? Being an aspiring yogi in a city like New York?

The manager smiles and walks by my table. He says a big smiling hello to me, makes it a point to do so, then also says a big shiny hello to another man who I doubt is alive, wonder where his IV is coming from.  I guess at least he is dressed up properly.

Anyways, I have my breakfast, I chew hard.  Point is, my morning has just changed.

In a word.  I am unconscious

My mind has taken over.  It is jumping from the past to the future in a tremendous effort to justify all the ways in which I am not worth it, cheap, a South American worthless piece of… wait a minute….

I could also make the argument against all that, I know I am worth it. I am a fighter, I came to America with zero moneys in my pockets and made it to the high ranks of corporate America, I bought a home, then lost it! Errr.. I know I am special, but then again this is ALSO JUST MIND.

Caught in a thread of emotion and mind attacks

Again.  Unconscious 

In a short occurrence of things,  my mind has managed to turn what IS into mental diarrhea of low self-esteem.

Big words, warm words, past words, future words, they just take me away from what is, from the now.

I slowly relax and come downstairs after a shower to write at the computer. I make it a point to feel what it is I am feeling in my body, to reconnect with the  only piece of nature available to  me right now in the midst of New York City, my biological body.  A deep breath ensues.  I am back. I am conscious.

Funny how the slightest thing that happens in the world (and there are lots of this in a  city like New York), can take us out of the  flow of well-being, into anger and into un-consciousness.

I think there is a movie here somewhere.

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4 Responses to Unconcious in New York City

  1. Yolk E March 5, 2012 at 11:30 am #

    Beautiful. It sounds like you have cultivated a lot of awareness. The moments when we slip are moments where we get to come back and recognize where we *really* are. 🙂

    • Claudia March 5, 2012 at 12:20 pm #

      Very true!

  2. roselil March 5, 2012 at 5:52 pm #

    Just in case you haven&#39;t seen it:<br />http://www.vanityfair.com/business/2012/04/krishna-pattanbhi-trophy-wife-ashtanga-yoga

    • Claudia March 5, 2012 at 6:09 pm #

      Hi Roselil, was just about to publish the intro with a link when I saw your comment… long interesting article.