I attach the latest episode#262 of Ask Altucher where we talk about it in detail [bottom of post]
Because it is THAT important…
Heck! James and I even wrote a book called “The Power Of No” – Mostly because we, also, struggle with it…
And it is critical:
YOU MUST NOT SAY “YES” WHEN YOU MEAN TO SAY “NO”
So: Saying “yes, and” can save the day…
If you like the the idea of doing something someone is asking, but have no time, you could say:
YES, I want the best for your project, I believe in it and I want it to excel AND, thing is I would only contribute if I can give it 150% of my energy and time which at the moment I don’t have…. That is why I need to say no this time, AND I am very grateful you asked me to contribute.
The receiver may feel the sting of rejection but they will understand you REALLY respect their project and, likely you did want to do it (I don’t like) but you just can’t.
They will also think of you as a professional who knows what she is doing. Because you do.
If you don’t want to do it…
Again: Yes, And, can help you. No need to lie…
You can say:
YES, great idea (I always encourage people on their ideas because we never know what is best for another), AND at this time I need to pass because it does not align with my projects. AND I wish you all the best of lucks on this, let me know how you do! Showing genuine interest is good, and telling the truth is also good because otherwise there are way too many story lines to keep on our heads.
In short It all comes down to the RELATIONSHIP… Putting it first, caring… Then the words flow… and the “yes, and” works for me…
Here is the episode on Don’t say YES when you want to say NO: CLICK HERE
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Photo credit from here