Last year it was over losing the shala card. I talked about how it happens no matter how good or bad the jet lag is. After 48 hours I just get the bug, the freak-out bug.
This year it happened again, exactly at the 48 hour mark, over…. losing the shala card. You guessed it right. Only this time it was not in my room.
|People love messing with this quote|
I was practicing in the shala with the card under the mat, half showing, as requested. By the time the rolling through garba pindasana came by the card was gone. Saraswathi helped me look, she even pointed to one that was almost under another student’s mat, but no card. Not mine anyway.
It is not a big deal! I hear you say. Of course it is not, but that is not how I felt. I freaked out.
For a moment the whole world went under. I heard a voice saying: “Can you trust”? But I couldn’t. I am sure it will turn up, I have seen lost cards left behind in the changing room so that their owners will find them.
I told Sharath so if he asks me and I have not found it yet at least he will know, I hope, not sure it is possible to remember so many issues from so many students! He suggested what the voice said, that I look for it. That I trust [my wording].
I had a moment right there where I noticed my attachment to the card. Hello! The card. Seriously?
Took a while to go back to the flow of the tristasana (breath, asana and eye-focus), to go inside, which somewhat happens easier at the shala among so many serious, dedicated practitioners.
Everyone around me looked so advanced, so flexible, flowing so gracefully, doing miraculous things, I started to feel down again.
And so I asked: “please show me how asanas are spiritual”, “please show me how it is not about the poses”, “please take me within”, “please show me the way”.
Who did I ask? That energy that helps yogis on the path. It is not God, for we now know there is no such thing in yoga, but there is a universal energy that helps, if I ask. It does.
Little by little I made my way back into concentration, and by the end practice, the card was gone from my mind, and at certain moments, the room seemed completely empty.