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The Day He Went Hiking with Another Woman

13 years ago I met a man who had the same birthday as me. That was enough for me to declare him “the One”.

Seven months into the relationship we were on our first romantic trip together. Somewhere between Madrid and Barcelona one afternoon I was feeling tired, hungry, and in need of rest.  He wanted to go hiking. I was hoping we would eat dinner and cuddle. He decided to go for the hike with Claire, a beautiful, younger than me, woman he had just met.  “I want you to stay with me” I said. He left with Claire.

I cried for hours in the green tent. There was a full moon and the sky was perfectly clear. I plucked my eyebrows, took a shower and got into the sleeping bag. I did not sleep much and cringed when he came back to join me about four hours later (felt like ten). I pretended to be asleep and did not say anything.

I betrayed myself.

When I woke up the next morning I felt like I was not me. I felt dirty, untrustworthy of my own actions. I felt like I had done everything wrong, but was not even sure what.

After 300 (100,000?) miles of driving in tense silence, when we finally took a break and walked into a park I grabbed his hand in reconciliation in the name of: “I stand by my man”, even if it meant: “I betray my own soul”.  Something crashed within me, it was a physical sensation, a falling down, a breaking glass, a metal flavor. I went on to live three years of my life in a relationship that was not meant to be.

Recently I had a very difficult situation with a family member that called for me to re-define what “standing by my family” means.  These are not easy decisions, but I learned that to be true to myself many times I must disappoint others and their expectations. Staying true to my own soul in an intelligent way is the priority. Finding the boundaries of my own truth is a lifetime challenge. I hope I can keep exploring the edges of it.

This, of course does not work as an excuse to get out of commitments that are solid, it just means that in certain cases, extreme cases, confused cases, challenging cases, life needs to be taken as a conversation rather than a black or white matter. It means life is fluid and needs re-thinking, presence, brutal honesty and a deep honoring of our own souls.

As per the ex-boyfriend, he is now happily engaged and living abroad. I wish him happiness, he taught me a big and expensive lesson.
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Pictures in this post link to their source.

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14 Responses to The Day He Went Hiking with Another Woman

  1. the wild magnolia March 4, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

    &quot;Finding the boundaries of my own truth…&quot;, this is excellent, and a goal for me. It is easier to move within our own truth.<br /><br />Thank you for sharing! You are refreshingly honest and this helps me see with more clarity.

  2. Claudia March 4, 2011 at 2:10 pm #

    Thank you Wild Magnolia 🙂

  3. Nobel March 4, 2011 at 2:35 pm #

    Thank you for sharing your story. I totally agree that often, in order to be true to yourself, you must disappoint others and their expectations of you. The hard part, I guess, is to try to do it without guilt or shame.

  4. Claudia March 4, 2011 at 2:38 pm #

    Very good point Nobel, THAT indeed is the hard time… it is not easy…

  5. Boodiba March 4, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

    I think all of us get into &amp; stay in relationships for the wrong reasons at LEAST once in our lives. You learned a lot!<br /><br />As for me I only have imaginary relationships with non incarnated entities. I took… another route 🙂

  6. Claudia March 4, 2011 at 6:17 pm #

    B, yes, true, and I guess we are lucky if it is JUST once… and you crack me up with your &quot;other route&quot;

  7. Boodiba March 4, 2011 at 6:24 pm #

    Imaginary relationships can be great cause the divorces are much cheaper.

  8. Claudia March 4, 2011 at 6:28 pm #

    HA that is funny, but i am beginning to wonder if you are just joking, because I guess on the other hand imaginary ones are not as rewarding. That being said, guess you should Twit that, it is a great line!

  9. Boodiba March 4, 2011 at 7:28 pm #

    Oh I&#39;m MOSTLY joking of course. I guess the imaginary thing is less satisfying, but then again phantoms don&#39;t tend to be heart breakers! If I&#39;ve still even got one 🙂

  10. (0v0) March 5, 2011 at 4:43 am #

    * * * * *<br /><br />Boodiba, that comment ranks a full five bindis on a scale of one to five. <br /><br />X

  11. Boodiba March 5, 2011 at 7:52 am #

    🙂 And THAT comment made me miss you!

  12. Claudia March 5, 2011 at 8:15 am #

    Hola OvO!! 🙂 @B, I miss her too…

  13. (0v0) March 6, 2011 at 2:01 am #

    🙂

  14. Claudia October 12, 2013 at 2:21 am #

    I am Rosalin from Russia,I am here to say thanks and appreciate Dr IRABOR of iraborspelltemple@yahoo.com,for all his help toward me,He really take his time to help me to cast a spell when i lost my lover to another woman…Thank you for the spell you cast that brings him back to me,we are now happily married with kids and we are more happier than never before,all thanks to you,Long leave Dr