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Yoga: Let’s Talk About “Enemas” Shall We?

This post came to me as I was going through part II of what I write here.  I promise, it will all make sense in less than 4 minutes.

James tells, me is a double entendre.  I just learned some French.

What is an ENEMA?

It is a bag in which you put warm purified water, or warm coffee (as I learned in Yoga-Teacher-Training in Thailand in 2009).

And then, through a tube that comes out of the bag you insert it into your anus and let the water, or the coffee with warm water go in. Not a sweet topic of conversation, I know, but it is important.

THAT IS PART ONE

This is the enema bag one I use: look at it closely, it won’t hurt you.

ClaudiaYoga Lets Talk Yoga and Enemas

If you can’t see the photo, then click here, and order some. Do yourself a favor, you may not fear them so much after reading.

DO NOT buy that red (or blue) stuff from CVS, or those new tubes they sell.  They are bad.

This one left is the BEST. I know, because I tried them all.  Only this one does the job done well. And it is the cheapest. Don’t ask where it is made… for now.

Throw out IMMEDIATELY the “cleaning” bag that comes with it… God knows what chemicals are they put there.

That is why wise yogis use warm purified water or warm coffee…

See?  We are already having fun.

WHY WOULD ANYONE DO AN ENEMA?

Glad you asked.

I don’t believe in “studies” because they all have their own agendas behind them.  So I just googled one that says:

43% of Americans are constipated

That, to me, sounds about right, on the low ball, my guess would be more like 50 to 75% of Americans, considering what we eat, how much time we spend at 30,000 feet up in the air, how little we do yoga poses that cleanse the intestine, and how little we know about our own internal organs.  All if these factors clog all the intestinal channels.

And I am not even going into antibiotics or dental pain stuff… Those are tough on the system!

Even Advil… yes, you read that right, even ADVIL constipates.

ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION NOW:  

When was the last time you went to the bathroom for #2?  When?  Don’t tell me, just think…. 

Is it more than 24 hours ago?  Then trouble is brewing… And over-the-counter drugs will give you diarrhea and then you’ll need Amodium… and the cycle goes on… not nice.

So 24 hours is the mark… Yogis do it this way. I do it this way.

So A LOT OF US are constipated.

What causes it? Lots of things, some of them are these:

  • Flying too often, you know how bottles of water contract on landing and take off? Same with your intestines… You’re welcome.
  • Traveling too often (being in hotels)
  • Being a relationship that is new (who wants to do #2 in the boyfriend’s house when they just met, right?)
  • Bathrooms in offices that do not provide enclosed bathrooms with full privacy (thank you corporate America!)
  • The food we eat.  You already know what is bad for you, like Wander bread.
  • Medications
  • Fear
  • Perimenopause sometimes

Why is constipation bad?

Because most of the early deaths, as well as issues with back pain, and even emotional trauma have to do with constipation.  Constipation affects EVERYTHING in the systems.

Think about it: If the pipes in your house are not flowing… What would happen to your house? It will explode.  I raise my case.

If you are still reading, you are a BRAVE person, pad yourself in the back for allowing yourself to think outside of the box.

WHY DO YOGIS DO ENEMAS?

Great question!

If a yogi goes for more than 24 hours without evacuating her bowels, she WILL do an enema.

I am talking about an real aspiring yogi, not a poser who took a 200 hour-vacation and flashes an RYG200 (Registered Yoga Teacher 200 Hour) “Register” from the Yoga Aliance.

Yes that’s right, the Yoga Alliance does NOT certify anyone. It’s a scam.  But I digress.

I am a serious aspiring yogi.  Not perfect, but serious.  I really want my mind to stop the chatter, I really want to be of service, I want my body clean inside and out. Including my intestines.

I’m not perfect. In fact, I f^&k up pretty often.  Can’t help it.  I’m frigking human.

WHEN DID YOU DO YOUR LAST ENEMA AND WHY?

Loving this conversation.

I just finished doing one in the bathroom. I was alone. This is not something I share much.

I did it with the bag shown above with warm coffee mixed with purified water.  I took in about a quarter gallon of the liquid, through my anus, and let it travel slowly inside my intestines, as far as they could reach.

I made pauses when it was intense. I took it one breath at the time

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING…

So let me just address your objections right away.

  1. Is it gross?   Only the first time, Okay, maybe the 2nd time too.
  2. Is it painful? NO. The tip is lubricated
  3. I am all grossed up about inserting something in anus: Yeah, I hear you, but the benefits WAY outweigh the shame. And every doubt you have can be answered by thousands of years of yoga research. Or ask me.  Besides you don’t need to do it every day ONLY IF 24 hours passed and no poo.. Okay?
  4. Does it hurt? NO. The tube has a little thingy that lets you regulate how fast or how slow the liquid comes in
  5. Should I always do it if I have not been to the bathroom for number two in more than 24 hours? No.  It is for “sometimes” or for “extreme cases” for example, if you have not gone to the bathroom for 48 hours, for #2, then SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG.  And problems in the intestines are one of the leading causes of death.   NO DOCTOR WILL EVER TELL YOU THAT
  6. How Do I set it up in my bathroom?  Hang the bag from where you hang the towels with the orifices provided in the bag… Let the tube fall dawn and lie down face up.
  7. How much liquid should I put? half a litter is a good start – A little… You choose.
  8. Should I mix the water and the coffee?  Put any of them, just make sure is WARM. Do NOT burn yourself
  9. How much should I take in?  At first probably very little
  10. I’m scared!  I hear you, there is no reason to be.  Talk to a yoga teacher you trust, s/he will help.
  11. What happens after I stop it? That will come in PART TWO below
  12. Have another question? See the button “Contact Us” on the left? It goes straight to me. Ask me, because I love questions
  1. Claudia Yoga Enema Talk jpeg

THAT IS PART TWO

How are you feeling?  Are you brave enough to get into part two?  I am, so let’s keep going

What is the Setup?

You hang the bag from the place where you hang towels.

You lay down on the floor on top of towels that can get dirty and then wash them.

You relax

Let the liquid in… Think of something else… Read… but the first time be VERY aware, and control the flow… RESPECT YOUR BODY.

How long will it take from the time I take coffee/water in?

Depends, slow or fast, pain no pain

You need to choose yourself.

How Does It Come Out?

Believe it or not, this part hurts more, for ME, than the other part… Because if you let all the liquid IN, then it will go deep into your intestines, and it will reach far and further…

You may want to hold on to it… Even stand up and do a few poses that relax you… BUT you may not be able to hold it and then…

You gotta go!

Will it all come out at once?

No.  Mine is still coming out as I write this post. I’ve just run and came back.  I washed my hands don’t worry. And the towels are in the washer.

There is nothing gross about this… Get over it… Okay?

The liquid keeps coming out because I took all of it in.  Inside my intesitnes.  A whole two liters, I don’t even know how much that is in gallons, I am from Argentina. It happens.

Is it painful?

Hm, Kind of…  That is the bad part…

How do you feel afterwards?

Wonderful! My skin glows, I am happy, I feel clean, and light.

How often do you do it?

In Thailand they had us doing it every day.

We all joked every morning: ” How Was Your Coffee”? Get it? Nobody had had coffee at six AM yet… other than… well, you get it.

How often do you do it now?

When I need it.  If I don’t poo for 24 hours.

Why did you do it today? I had a week of antibiotics because of a tooth infection. Antibiotics and pain medication constipated me.  I feel horrible when consitipated. That is why I did it

Why are you telling me all this? Because…

It’s kind of gross…  I hear you, and Oh!  I’m sorry your majesty.

It’s still kind of gross.  No it is not, it is healthy and one of the best things you can learn to do that will keep you away from doctors, whom, by the way, are the LEADING cause of death in the United States.

#No Joke. Look it up. Google it.

PS #1: I am a yoga teacher.  I know a little about yoga… I AM NOT A DOCTOR.  This works for ME.

Don’t be silly… Don’t go trying it before you speak with your circle of trusted yogi friends and doctors or whomever supports you.

Be wise.

Be

 

PS #2: Listen to episode 4 of The Yoga Podcast – About the Potty training for adults… You are welcome

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